When The Going Went Tough, The Tough Still Got Their Way

When The Going Went Tough, The Tough Still Got Their Way 

( The  1% possibility I was left with.)

One of the first words I learnt and experienced in Germany is the word  “Schwierigkeit” which means difficulty in English.

And if there is one thing I have become used to in this life, is learning things the „hardest way“, hahhahhhahhaha. Who else has been down this road? I believe many, especially Africans leaving abroad.

 

I used to have difficulties in life back home, but with some degree of hope. My hopes could have been low, could have been high, to me, „hope is hope“.

The difficulties I faced at the beginning when I was still trying to get my feet on the ground were accompanied with hopelessness, stumbling blocks and huge barriers Hhhhuuuhhhh let me take a deep breath!!!!!!!!!!! (This is the feeling I get, feeling like I need to breathe deep each time I think of those moments). Somehow as I have come to realize, this feeling has become some kind of therapy to me.

However the lessons I have learnt while abroad, (here in Germany) have all turned out to work for my own good. Romans chapter 8 vs 28 happening to me hahahahahahaha. The lessons are sooooo good and funny that sometimes I sit all by myself and laugh out loud when I think of them. They may be funny, infact very funny but believe me you, it was a very trying period for me. Some of these lessons I would say I’d wished I’d known them before I moved over to Germany but believe me that wouldn‘t have mean a thing until I experienced  them like I have done.

If you‘d read the second page of my “Diary Of A Black Sister On The Streets Of Germany”, on which I wrote about my hopes and expectation after I moved over to Germany, you would have read that I came to Germany with a pocket full of dreams but one,  too many times those dreams of mine hit the rocks that almost let to me crashing down. The experience was very rough and most often than not I was left all by my own. Not that people around me or people I know didn’t care, it was just that sometimes they couldn‘t help out. But there were times some could help, but they turned their back on me, some even tried to put me in a more difficult situation than I was already in.

I don’t want to talk about those who laughed at me while I was sinking in the deep and even call on others to join them to laugh at me while telling me I will never succeed that, I will only end up  in plane taking me back to Cameroon against my will. This was when I was fighting for my right, my freedom, my peace, my dignity, my life and myself, trying to bend things to go my way, the fight was real even though I had the right.

As a journalist with over five years experience and a Bachelor in General Applied Linguistics coupled with an excellent knowledge of the English language and a better knowledge of the French language, even though by then I had only basic knowledge of the German language ( Certifikat A2), in my mind I‘d thought the future was bright. I had hoped to upgrade my German language knowledge, then later use my rich language and linguistics background, and journalistic skills to pursue my dream, but guess what I was wrong.

I did everything humanly possible to make this happen in the time frame I had planned, but it didn’t.

Germany almost took everything from me, it was a sad moment. I arrived in the wrong place, came in contact with the wrong people, got entangled with the wrong strings hahahahahahahahahahahahaha that was when the wrong things started „rocking“ me and my world. I had to struggle with a lot. Ohhh even God knows that period was tough for someone like me,,,,,,,,,,,Oohhh yeah!!!!!!!!!!.

I fought really hard, I prayed harder and a little too longer than I was used to, I did some of the things I had said I will never do and finally I made some very very hard hard decisions.

I am so much grateful and will forever be, to those who stood by me during these heart-breaking and trying moments of my life. For those who tried everything humanly possible to break me down and those who laughed at me while I was going through all these struggles I owe you a lot because you all pushed me this far.

I am however really happy and proud of the decisions I made and what I have become today. This is something  I may share with you all in one of my pages in the „Diary of A Black Sister In The Streets of Germany“ just stay tune I will be back……………..”